Because of cultural influences, people rarely reach adulthood with a clear understanding of their authentic selves. More often than not, identities are formed more out of the need to please caregivers than from authentic self-expression.

As a result, people experience a holding back, not just of who they are, but how they express themselves financially. Thus the common thought, "I should be earning more than I am" or a longing to reach a perceived true potential.

The prevalent feeling of being trapped in a particular financial position is the result of feeling trapped in an inauthentic persona. This also often stimulates feelings of abandonment (of self), deprivation, anger, and shame, all of which people tend to blame on external circumstances.

Self-help literature is filled with prescriptions for finding your authentic self. In this limited space, I can only give a few suggestions to move you forward:

• Remember the slogan: If one of us has to be uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be me. Express your needs and give yourself permission to fill them.
• Learn how to express your feelings. I can’t stress how important this is to being in integrity with yourself.
• Do something today that you have always wanted to do but were afraid that others might judge you harshly for.

These three suggestions will point you in a new direction and help you create a new financial identity.

My book Build Your Money Muscles and the CDs Let Go of the Aloneness Blocking Your Prosperity and Healing Your Financial Shame have specific instructions for learning to express feelings without having to rekindle a lot of old hurts.

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