Archive for the ‘Money Feelings’ Category

How often do you use the word “need” either in your thoughts or in your conversations. Do you find yourself saying things like:

• “I need more money in order to ____________ (fill in the blank)”
• “It’s hard for me to get my needs met.”
• “I need you to give me more ___________ (love/money/attention/affection, etc.)”

When you recognize a need, do you feel helpless or empowered? Prosperous people see needs as a spur to action and have an underlying belief that they will find a way to satisfy their needs.

Let’s say you think you need more money in order to keep your business running smoothly. The prosperous action would be to get a clear picture of exactly how much you need, then develop a plan for finding the necessary funds. If the funds were not available, then a reorganization or restructuring of the business would be in order.

In either case, action is the key. Whining and wishing someone would rescue you would be needy behavior.

Many people who consider themselves prosperity seekers are needy. They keep themselves in a constant state of longing and wanting and have never developed the traits and feelings that accompany prosperity. These traits and feelings include satisfaction, faith in oneself, determination, discipline, financial literacy, and a willingness to make mistakes.

Would you like to eliminate neediness and develop a strong prosperity mindset? Here are a few things you can do:

• Make the decision to love, accept, acknowledge, and appreciate yourself. Alhtough it takes time to develop this habit, doing so will allow you to fill some of your most basic emotional needs and have others mirror that fulfillment back to you.
• Accentuate the positive. You can find pros and cons when evaluating anything. Train yourself to focus on the positive and, when considering the negative, do so realistically when you are in a calm and thoughtful frame of mind. If your habit is to assume the worst will happen, you will benefit from finding someone who can help you evaluate your options.
• When you speak to people, notice if you are using your child voice or your adult voice. Most people have both. The child voice will come out when you are coming from a needy place. Give your inner adult the chance to speak.
• Learn to view your life stories with detachment. Understand that every situation is neutral. Judging a situation as good or bad is your projection, not something inherent in the situation. In the current economy, dealing with events without taking them personally and without judgement can facilitate making rational, effective decisions.

Does fear get in the way of your taking action? If it does, consider listening to the recent teleclass, Live Fear Free In the New Economy. If you sign up now, you can still participate in the follow-up class on September 21. Read more about the teleclass on ProsperityPlace.com.

• Are you scared because of your financial situation?
• Is your job or business income threatened by current financial conditions?
• Do you wonder what has happened to the American dream?
• Would you like to move beyond your fear and experience financial peace of mind?

Join me on Auguest 24th for a new teleclass where you can learn the skills you need to thrive and prosper in these tough economic times.

Living Fear Free in the New Economy
A 90-Minute Teleclass with Joan Sotkin
August 24 – Noon Pacific, 3 PM Eastern

Listen on the phone, on the Web or download the recording. A transcript will be available along with other goodies.

Join me for this interactive teleclass and learn:

• The simple techniques to move through your fear and emerge in a solid financial position
• How to make fear a creative rather than destructive force so you can move on with your life
• The main steps you need to take to live fear free in the new economy
• How to discover marketable talents you have that you never realized could support you
• Techniques for activating your inner power so you build a realistic and secure future

If you are ready for a stress-free, fear-free life, read more about this teleclass at http://LiveFearFreeNow.com

Recently someone asked me why I didn’t include fear in my book Build Your Money Muscles as one of the basic emotions that people act out through their money. I explained that fear is the cover-up emotion, the emotion that people default to when they are unsure of themselves and their future.

Fear is often used as an excuse for not moving forward. Yet those who are willing to work through their fear and risk what might seem like failure are the people who are most successful.

Fear in the Current Economy

There’s no doubt about the fact that we are living in uncertain times. The recession, unemployment, foreclosures,
lack of available credit, and debt problems in Europe all add to an environment of uncertainty.

Even though large companies are earning healthy profits, the uncertainty is keeping them from adding jobs or making big investments. Instead of hiring people, companies are buying machines that allow them to replace people.

The news is filled with fear-producing stories of people experiencing financial difficulties and dire predictions for our economic future. However, if you decide to live without fear, you can.

Is this really possible with so much fear in the air? Absolutely.

The Choice Is Yours

Fear is never a requirement. It is an option. You get to choose whether to live in fear or in peace.

This period in our history provides a great opportunity for you to make the choice between fear or peace. The fact is that fear is never a solution to any problem, but rather a mechanism for avoiding action.

I don’t believe that you can just wish or tap away fear. I think that you have to make specific changes in your habitual thoughts, beliefs, emotional responses, and behaviors in order to develop confidence in your ability to survive and thrive no matter what’s going on in the world.

Yes, economic times have changed, and few people can continue to behave the way they did a few years ago and remain financially healthy. Fortunately,a growing number of people are choosing to save instead of spending freely and are beginning to see the value of developing practical financial habits.

Awakening Your Inner Voice

Now more than ever, getting in touch with the part of you that can see (or sense) the bigger picture is important. That inner voice is part of your human equipment and, if you can hear it, can lead you to your true life’s purpose and a way of life that supports your true needs (not those stimulated for you by endless advertisements).

The problem is that fear muffles the sound of the inner voice, often in many subtle ways.

A few years ago, I invested a lot of time, money, and energy into a project that I thought would be profitable. Although I was encouraged by knowledgeable advisors to move forward with the project, and although I was passionate about the subject matter, I have to admit that I was motivated by my fear of my economic future. I thought the project could offer me a level of security I didn’t already have.

Instead of making a lot of money, I lost a lot. As I was putting the project together, there was a nagging, quiet voice that questioned what I was doing, but the voice was overridden by my desire to secure my future in order to allay my fears.

In other words, I defaulted to fear and lost much more than I could have imagined. If someone had said that I was motivated by fear, I would have denied it. Only now, as I look back, can I see it — and avoid the trap in the future. As I said, fear works in subtle ways.

I’ve lived long enough to know that no matter how much trouble I might get myself in to, I can get myself out, which serves to overcome fear. I feel blessed that I’ve reached a point of inner peace and would like to share some of the techniques I used to get here.

So I’m going to hold a teleclass on August 24th called Live Fear Free in the New Economy.

This teleclass will

• Help you make fear a creative rather than destructive force
• Discover marketable talents you have that you never realized can support you
• Teach you techniques for activating your inner resources
• Lead you through your fear into a more peaceful place

For more information about this almost-free teleclass, visit http://LiveFearFreeNow.com

Here’s a question I received recently: “How do I break through my financial set point? I seem to be stuck at my current earning level and no matter what I do, I can’t sustain a higher level for any length of time.”

Your financial set point is actually an income and/or net-worth limit that you have subconsciously established for yourself. Feeling stuck at this set point is a common dilemma that I’d lke to address here.

As a review: Our finances are a result of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions and behaviors, with the emotions acting as the creative force behind our life stories. So, when trying to alter a financial condition, it is necessary to examine the emotions behind the condition. (This is fully explained in Build Your Money Muscles.)

If you have trouble breaking through to a new financial level, one of the feelings you may be acting out through your money is constrained, which is related to a sense of being trapped — one of the five main money feelings. Read the rest of this entry »

I hear it over and over again, “I don’t have enough money for _____________ (fill in the blank).” The lack may relate to funds for expanding a business, improving one’s wardrobe, fixing one’s house, or perhaps just paying the rent and monthly bills on time.

Many people function at a chronic non-enough level. Although there may be brief periods of healthy cash flow, these are often followed by the familiar state of lack when unexpected expenses seem to appear out of nowhere or income unexpectedly drops.

Interestingly, I hear the not-enough complaint from people at all income levels. I’ve had clients with millions of dollars of net worth who felt they needed more in order to feel successful. It’s not unusual for me to hear the not-enough complaint from people earning six figures a year.

At the same time, I know people who seem to be satisfied no matter what they are earning. I remember reading a story about a school janitor who managed to save enough money from his salary to help fund a college education of a number of students. He perceived his life as abundant and experienced great satisfaction. Read the rest of this entry »

In the movie Yes Man, Jim Carrey plays the part of an unhappy man who decides to change his life by saying “yes” to whatever comes his way. Although he eventually runs into some problems, accepting opportunities has mostly beneficial effects.

It’s no secret that if you want to improve your financial position or alter the course of your life, you need to behave differently and respond to life in a way you haven’t done in the past. It’s also true that solutions to problems often present themselves as opportunities.

So the question is, are you saying “yes” to opportunities that come your way, or do you find excuses for avoiding the unfamiliar? Do you resist meeting new people, unfamiliar situations, or taking on responsibilities that have uncertain outcomes? Read the rest of this entry »

In my book Build Your Money Muscles, I identify the five main feelings that people act out through their finances. One of those is a sense of being trapped. When I wrote the book, I didn’t understand the depths of this feeling and it’s nuances. Lately, that understanding is coming into focus. Here’s what I’ve learned.

Children often are discouraged from truely expressing themselves because their parents, and others, just don’t get who they are. I can remember my mother’s reaction when, as a three-year old dressed in my favorite yellow sunsuit, I proudly presented myself as a black bear, having covered myself with mud. I learned then, and in many instances afterwards, that it isn’t always safe to let people now who I am.

Perhaps you can remember moments when you realized that speaking or acting freely could lead to punishment or stimulate negative reactions from those around you. As a result, you developed coping mechanisms that allowed you to fit it or be acceptable.

The result: being trapped in a persona that works in the world, but leaves you feeling disconnected and, perhaps empty. This is often accompanied by less-than feelings, shame, and lots of negative self-talk.

Not the best foundation for drawing in a free-flow of love and support — financial and otherwise.

Read the rest of this entry »

Many years ago, a teacher of mine kept repeating, “Love is the healer.” That phrase was always in the back of my mind as I moved forward with my own healing.

It’s clear to me that love is the glue that holds everything together, and that peace is not possible until we reach a tipping point where love is the predominent emotion.

In order for love to prevail, our hearts need to be open to:

• Ourselves
• Other people
• Other beings
• New ideas
• Opportunities
• Receiving

Unfortunately, because of family-of-origin issues, many hearts close to love, making it difficult to receive that which is needed to thrive and prosper. When love is withheld from ourselves or others, we block the free flow of energy through our lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

There’s an incredible disconnect between the movement of the stock market and the economic reality for much of the US population.

As I’m writing this, the headline on CNBC.com, just above the market chart, is “Stocks Gain 4% for Week Amid Earnings Optimism.” No doubt about it, the market has been going up, enabling those who are supposedly in the know to assure us that we are on the way to recovery.

At the same time, stories are dribbling out about the economic pressures faced by many people:

• There are over 1 million healthcare-related bankruptcies per year
• Over 47,000 people die each year in the US because they can’t afford health care
• 6.3 people are looking for every available job
• High level jobs are going unfilled because workers lack the necessary skills
• Foreclosure rates continue to rise in many areas
• Unregulated financial products are still in the pipeline
• States are cutting back on funding for education, safety, and other necessary services.

Read the rest of this entry »

In my book Build Your Money Muscles, I identify the five main feelings that are expressed most often through money. They include abandonment/aloneness, shame, deprivation, a sense of being trapped, and anger, which we will look at today.

Anger is a very valid emotion. Yet in many cultures people are discouraged from expressing anger in a healthy way. As a result, anger is often repressed and turned inward. Your negative self-talk can be anger directed inwards.

Anger expressed through finances shows up in a number of ways. Borrowing money without paying it back, nonpayment of taxes, late bill paying, and compulsive spending can all be expressions of anger. (Think, “I’ll show you!”) Underearning and debting are two of the most common ways that anger finds itself in finances. Read the rest of this entry »